Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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