yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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