I need help removing her.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
