if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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