Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just gift wrapped bread.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
