shes about as inviting as chlamydia
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
