Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
