my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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