I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
