as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
