Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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