the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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