My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Farmville is her only friend.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
