What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
where are my eyebrows?
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