A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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