We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
