Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
