woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
