Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize