dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize