So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
