Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
