booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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