Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
