just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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