Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
