Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
