Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize