i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
