Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he puts the penis in happiness.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
