So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
