idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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