I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
This baby is an asshole
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
