so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
