he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
