Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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