So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you traded sex for a burrito?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
