Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
