Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
