I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
