i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
