Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
