I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
only if we run a train.
done.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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