how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize