We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The adults are the big ones right?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
