no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
