Say something about gay babies.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i out mim tonsoeep
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