i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
