My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
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