I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
this just has baby written all over it
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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