We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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