Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
