Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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