Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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