He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
