I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
