moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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