My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize