So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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