I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
