im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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