Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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