Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
