is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
