This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
