I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
