Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
