My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My brain says no but my pants say off.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
