I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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