Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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