Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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