ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
They have beer where we have blood.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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