best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
